


i need love (can you get to me now)

by kihyukie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 01 line and younger idols r kids, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28457898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihyukie/pseuds/kihyukie
Summary: All in all, Renjun is thoroughly charmed.Now his days at work are spent brainstorming activities for Tuesdays and waiting for the buzz of his phone signalling that Jeno replied. It's a little pathetic he must admit, but it's been awhile since he's had such a genuine crush on someone and he wasn't about to pass up his chance to have a little excitement in his life.Renjun loves his job—his coworkers at the library have been nothing but welcoming and the kids are really what make it worth it—but for the first time, Renjun starts looking forward to Tuesdays for a different reason.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 13
Kudos: 110





	i need love (can you get to me now)

**Author's Note:**

> this was born bc i was reminiscing about how i miss working with kids, they're always so honest which makes for some funny/horrifying/heartwarming moments...kids are the best! also this is the first thing i've been able to write in a while so im sorry that it's probably a bit all over the place heh
> 
> also sorry the title is from a 100 gecs song and actually has nothing to do with the fic..i have worms for a brain

Renjun loves his job, he truly does.

It didn't take him long to realize that there was never a boring day when it came to working with kids. Sure, some days were way more tiring—when the kids had a shorter temper it tended to be contagious amongst the group and it was hard not to be affected by the non-stop screaming or crying or fighting—but, all in all, working with kids was rewarding. They had a great sense of humour, more imagination than most of Renjun's other friends and they were honest (often to a fault, but Renjun knew not to take the comments to heart). And it was rewarding to see them discover new things every week. 

Today is no different. He's leading them through an actual craft this week, iPad and Dash the robot tucked securely away in the cabinet, out of sight and out of mind. There's paint all across the table and even some on the floor that Renjun tries to spot as soon as possible before it dries or worse—gets tracked across the floor by a child's shoe. The craft is a perfect outlet for all their pent up energy; the room crackling with energy even with the looming threat of school starting back up in a week.

They're painting rocks like Renjun remembers doing with his older brother while they were growing up. The idea had come to him last minute and he had spent an hour after one in the morning just picking out the perfect rocks on the road. About halfway through he ended up recruiting Mark, who wouldn't stop sending different uquiz links since he couldn't sleep anyways. 

It had been a nice night under the stars.

It was gratifying, seeing the kids enjoy the craft so much. Thinking ahead, Renjun had got enough rocks so each person would be able to do two or three in total depending on their attention span. Most kids were already onto their second; ladybugs, dragons, flowers, cars, and various animals were covering the table Renjun had set up to the side where the rocks could dry out of the way.

"I need more red paint," a voice calls out. Before Renjun can even get up to survey the table for where the paint had gone he sees the bottle of red paint being passed across the table towards Sungchan, who is waiting eagerly with his hand out, green and brown paint already covering him.

Ok so maybe parents wouldn’t be as thrilled with the craft of the week as Renjun was, but he can deal with that. 

"What are you painting now, Sungchan?" Renjun asks as he watches the boy squeeze the paint onto a paper plate and dip a paintbrush into it, mixing it around a couple times just for good measure.

"Spiderman," he answers, not taking his eyes off the paint on the plate.

Renjun smiles to himself. "I can't wait to see how he turns out."

Sungchan looks over to beam happily at Renjun before going back to work, tongue poked out in concentration as he starts coating the rock in an uneven layer of red.

Without even realizing, the hour comes to an end and one by one parents start showing up to collect their kids. Renjun watches as the parents are dragged over to the drying table to see the treasures their kids created. One in particular launches into a very detailed explanation of why they weren't allowed to bring them home just yet—"They are still wet and so if we tried to put them in our pocket it would make a big mess and then you would have to clean it and be sad and I don't want you to be sad, so we have to wait until next time to bring it home."

Renjun smiles and waves as they leave the room.

He's a couple minutes into tidying up before he realizes that Jisung is still sitting on the couch in the corner of the room, much more quiet now that his partner in crime is gone. Renjun can tell by the way his head is back against the couch and he's mindlessly twisting the tassels on the blanket that the boy is tired. And honestly, Renjun can't blame him one bit, it's been a tiring afternoon and he himself wants nothing more than to crawl into his bed and waste hours on Tik Tok.

Although he's sure that Jisung's parents are just running a bit late, he decides it's best to go over and keep the boy company while they wait.

"Can I sit here?" Renjun points at the spot next to Jisung on the couch and wait's until the boy nods before sitting down next to him. "Your mom should be here soon."

Jisung frowns for a moment, clearly deep in thought. "I hope so. Mama said she was going to pick up foo- Jen!" The boy cries out, nearly elbowing Renjun in the face to get to a boy that had just entered the room, throwing himself into the strangers arms.

The other boy must have been anticipating it because he scoops Jisung up, immediately spinning him around once before propping Jisung up on one of his hips and ruffling Jisung's hair with his free hand.

"Hey bud." Renjun watches the stranger smile and oh, _oh no_. He's cute. His eyes turn into crescents as he smiles, pearly white teeth bared to the world. Oh, this is bad. "Mama was running behind, so I came to rescue you instead."

"I don't need rescuing. Junnie is really nice."

It's Jisung's words that seem to alert the stranger that the two of them aren't allowed in the room and Renjun is indeed still sitting on the couch. When the boy looks over, Renjun stands up praying he's not about to pass out and make a fool of himself and offers a smile. In his chest his heart is beating a hundred miles a minute.

"Oh, hi." He readjusts Jisung in his arms and Renjun gulps. Five year olds are in no way light, something Renjun has learnt from experience, especially when they are as tall as Jisung.

"I'm Jeno. I'm Jisung's older brother."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Renjun."

Jeno cocks a perfect eyebrow up at that. "Not Junnie?"

The question catches Renjun off guard causing heat to rush to his face. While he’s used to the kids calling him that it sounds weird coming from someone that looks his age. If Jeno notices how flustered Renjun is he doesn't comment. 

"Ah, I guess yeah. Some of the younger kids have trouble with my name so I told them they could call me Jun and then...yeah."

"I see." Jeno smiles again and Renjun decides he would go to war no questions asked just to be able to see it again and again and again. Crouching, Jeno puts Jisung back on the floor. "Do you need help cleaning up?"

"What?" Renjun freezes. Cute and strong and nice? There's no way this boy is real. "Oh, no. No, it's okay."

"Are you sure?"

Renjun laughs at that. The room looks like a tornado tore through it (which is honestly not far off), but it wasn't Renjun's first rodeo and it wouldn't take him too long to clean unless any of the paint was too far dried.

"Very sure," he insists. "I get paid for this, you don't."

Jeno looks like he wants to say something, but he's interrupted by Jisung pulling at his hand and leaning into his side, eyes halfway closed. That seems to snap Jeno back to attention.

"We better get going then. Ji, what do you say?"

Jisung blinks sleepily. "Thank you, Junnie. See you next week."

Crouching down the other boy's level, Renjun gives him a little wave. "See you next week, Jisung. Say hi to your mom for me."

Jisung nods his head before taking Jeno's hand and leading him out of the room leaving Renjun with silence and a newfound gratefulness for his job.

"No, you don't understand. He was so adorable like his smile is so bright and then he just picked Jisung up like he weighed nothing. Like he’s gotta be fucking ripped, oh my god." 

Renjun groans into his pillow and he can hear Mark laugh at his anguish from the other end of the line.

"And you're only telling me about him now because..."

"He's never been in before. Usually it's their mom, but I guess she got stuck late getting groceries or something and sent Jeno instead. What if he comes back next week, what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

He can picture it now: Jeno walking through the door to pick up Jisung again, but this time in a short sleeve shirt so Renjun has a perfect view of his arms. His dark hair pushed back again so Renjun can admire his strong facial features as much as he wanted. One smile from him and that would be it for Renjun. 

"I don't know, ask him out or something," Mark answers, kicking him out of his daydream.

"How can you just say that?"

If there's one thing Renjun envies about his friend is his shocking level of confidence to do pretty much anything he put his mind to, consequences be damned. Rejection wasn't a word in Mark's dictionary and every time Renjun did something a little bit bolder than usual he tried to harness his best friend's energy. Mark could walk up to anyone he wanted, ask for their number and likely get it. Renjun sometimes couldn't even order what he really wanted from a menu because having to voice the modifications that he wanted left too much room for error and embarrassment.

Renjun lived his life safely to put it shortly.

"Come on, live a little, Renjun."

"I know literally nothing about him. It's not like this is a crush, I just think he's really pretty is all."

"And?" Mark pauses, likely waiting to see if Renjun has his own answer to the question before continuing, "That's what dating is for—you can learn all you want about him. At least give him your number next time you see him and that way if he texts you, you can know he's probably interested in you too. And then if he texts you back, ask him on a walk or something don’t you love those."

"Maybe," Renjun hums, pointedly ignoring Mark’s jab at his daily walks. Nothing lame about exercise and spending time alone as far as Renjun saw. 

"You better. Don't be a fucking coward."

"Sorry we don't all have a humiliation kink."

"Yeah, because we all know your praise kink works hard enough."

Renjun hangs up before Mark can get another word out.

It's Tuesday again and Renjun finds himself digging around the back of the cabinet for the stamp sets he knows are somewhere in the mess. He makes a mental note to organize the cabinet better tomorrow once he finishes up with shelving. After a couple hours on Pinterest for inspiration, he ended up planning to make cards with the kids this week, as the options were nearly endless.

Thankfully, Renjun is able to stick his head out of the room and catch Seulgi on the way to her office. If anyone knows where the stamps might be, she was his best bet. While he had only been at the library for a couple of months now, she was going on her sixth year. 

"They should be somewhere in there," she says leaning over his shoulder to peer in the seemingly bottomless shelves. 

"That's what I'm hoping or I'll have to scrap this idea." Renjun blows air out of his mouth, his cheeks inflating as he does so.

"Good luck.” Seulgi offers him a smile. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Seokyoung might know too if you want to ask her. She's on desk right now, but just send her a text and she can probably come take a look when it gets quiet.”

Given that it was a weeknight it wasn't likely that Seokyoung would be able to escape the desk for that long, but Renjun appreciated the advice anyways. 

"Thanks, I'll take another peak."

"No problem, kiddo."

One of the things on Renjun's to do list when he first started was to organize the cabinet, which if he had got around to any earlier would have saved him the twenty minutes it took digging around to find the stamps that had been put in a container with pipe cleaners and some scraps of felt. Luckily, he's still able to set up all the supplies in time for the kids to start arriving.

The list is slightly shorter from last week, they're only expecting eight kids instead of the usual twelve to fifteen, but Renjun figures it's due to school finally starting and the fact that they had moved to a later time slot to accommodate that. Belatedly he spots Jisung's name on the list and wonders if Jeno will be coming to pick up his brother again because Renjun wouldn't mind seeing him again.

In fact, he hasn't really been able to stop thinking about Jeno and his kind smile and strong arms since last week, but that was nobody's business but his own.

There's not much time for Renjun's mind to wander because kids start trickling in and Renjun mentally prepares himself with the energy he'll need to get through the night. 

One by one, Renjun greets the children as they arrive before he gets them to gather around the table to explain today's card making activity. There's a flurry of questions from Yuna who's worried she'll make the wrong card, but Renjun takes his time to explain to them that they're welcome to make a card for any occasion whether it be for someone's birthday or a thank you card or a card for the bird that lives in their backyard. He sets them free, watching as coloured paper and scissors and some of the stamps he spent so long in search of are passed around by busy hands.

Renjun is enjoying watching the kids put their minds to work when he feels a tug on his arm and looks over to where Jisung has gotten his attention. 

"Are you going to make a card too, Junnie?"

Although he doesn’t usually join in on the activities unless really needed, preferring to look approachable if any of the kids have questions, Renjun doesn’t see why it would hurt, so he takes a seat on Jisung’s left.

"What kind of card do you think I should make?" he asks the boy. 

"I think my big brother would like if you made him a card. He likes you."

Renjun tries not to show how surprised he is by the fact that apparently Jeno has talked about him outside of their single meeting and manages to ask, "Does he now?"

"Yeah. He asked me lots of questions about you on the way home and I told him how nice you are and how you're my friend and he said he wants to be your friend too."

It’s a lot to take in and Renjun finds himself blushing again, thankful that Jeno isn’t around to see his reaction. So Jeno wants to be his friend, Renjun can work with that. 

"Do you know your brother's favourite colour?"

Jisung searches the table for the second before grabbing a blue marker and passing it to Renjun. Making sure to thank the boy, Renjun takes the marker and gets started on his own card. 

Time passes quickly when Renjun isn't paying attention to it, too concentrated on the task at hand. Of course he stops whenever any of the kids speak up with a question or comment, but for the first time since he began running the program, Renjun enjoys himself by doing the craft right along with the kids. He should do this more often if the opportunity arises he notes.

Before he knows it, parents start showing up and their respective children bound up to them to show them this week's creations. Renjun puts his card to the side and watches the reunions. It's heartwarming to see all the reactions, most of the parents are always into what their child made and make sure to ask lots of follow up questions about certain details or choices. Before any of them leave Renjun makes sure to remind them all to grab their painted rocks from last week since they’ve had adequate time to dry and are now ready to be proudly displayed. 

Once again Jisung is one of the last one's left and this time he sweetly starts to help Renjun clean up. He's just finished putting the lids back on all the stray markers when there's a soft knock at the door and they both look up to see Jeno with a grin on his face.

"Busy without me I see."

"I was being helpful," Jisung boasts, holding up a couple markers still in his grasp.

Jeno makes his way over to the table and crouches down so he’s level with Jisung. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, Jisung was helping me match up all the markers with their lost caps. He was a lot of help." Renjun makes sure he turns to Jisung and has the boy’s attention when he says, "I really appreciate it, Jisung."

The little boy blushes and run's to duck his head under Jeno's arm. Jeno, who watches the whole event unfold with a look of amusement on his face.

"What did you get up to today, Ji?"

"We made cards!" he exclaims, jumping up to wave his card (a birthday card for Chenle, but "shh because it's a secret") in Jeno's face. "And Junnie made one for you!"

That seems to get Jeno's attention.

"It was Jisung's idea," Renjun mutters passing the card over. It's nothing much. Just a card that says 'I'd like to be friends too' written on the front with a doodle of a cat (Jeno's favourite animals according to Jisung) and Renjun's number written neatly on the inside with a little heart.

As much as he tries, Renjun can't manage to make out the look on Jeno's face after reading the card. Suddenly he wants nothing more than to curl up on the floor and maybe disappear. Instead, he starts cleaning up again, this time with much more vigour. 

By the time he looks up again, Jeno and Jisung are gone.

"I fucked up so bad," Renjun laments the second he steps foot in Jaemin's apartment, throwing his bag on the ground near the door and kicking off his shoes. He feels horrible that he made Jeno uncomfortable and now he’ll have to quit his job and change his name and mov—

"How bad can it really be?" Donghyuck asks from where he's laying on the couch, head in Mark's lap and feet in Jaemin's. The television is flickering in the back, but none of them are paying attention to it at the moment.

"He looked at me like I was crazy and then they left without a word."

"His loss," Jaemin shrugs and when Renjun gets close enough, he reaches up to pull the older down to join the rest of them on the couch. Renjun narrowly misses landing on Donghyuck’s feet and scowls in disgust when his face gets too close to them for comfort. Donghyuck simply sticks his tongue out in retaliation. 

Before a fight can begin, Mark choses to speak up, "Hey, if he never said anything then there's still hope. You never know, maybe you'll get a text from him."

"I fucking doubt i-"

The room is silenced with a buzz from Renjun’s phone. It’s probably just his mother checking up on him. Donghyuck sits up. 

"Renjun."

"Yes?” 

"Did your phone just buzz?"

"Yes."

"Care to tell us who it's from?"

He takes a quick glance at the screen. "Uh, a wrong number I think? They aren't in my contacts."

That earns him a thwack on the back of the head from Jaemin at the same time Donghyuck says, "It's probably Jeno, don't be fucking dumb."

"Text them back," Mark urges, ever the voice of reason. 

> **renjun** :
> 
> hello! 
> 
> who is this?
> 
> **jeno** : 
> 
> it's jeno!! 
> 
> were you expecting a text from someone else???
> 
> if so then this is sorta awkward haha
> 
> **renjun** : 
> 
> no!
> 
> tbh i wasn't even expecting you to text me so you caught me off guard is all
> 
> **jeno** : 
> 
> why wouldn't i text the cute boy that gave me his number?
> 
> **renjun** : 
> 
> ah i thought the card might come across as a bit weird :(
> 
> **jeno** : 
> 
> no i thought it was really cute 
> 
> especially because you took jisungs advice!!! like that's so precious 
> 
> you're really good with kids
> 
> **renjun** :
> 
> i'd hope so, it's my job
> 
> **jeno** : 
> 
> oh right haha

"Earth to Renjun." 

Jaemin's hand waved in front of his face and Renjun had to ignore the primal urge to bite it. "Are we having movie night or are you chatting with your boyfriend?"

"Jeez, are you that jealous already?"

> **renjun** :
> 
> gtg for now my friends are needy but have a good night jeno
> 
> **jeno** : 
> 
> you too junnie!!!

"Junnie."

"Oh my god _please_ shut up,” Renjun whines. Then hoping to save himself by putting it into context he explains, “It's what the kids call me at work. He heard Jisung call me that when he comes to pick him up."

Jaemin just coos and tries to pinch Renjun’s cheek while Renjun bats him away to protect his honour. 

"I think it's cute you guys have already started with pet names," Mark comments earnestly and Renjun doesn’t have it in him to be bothered by his friend. Mark’s words are rarely malicious. 

Plus, Mark is on the opposite end of the couch and makes a rather difficult target. Instead, Renjun all but launches himself at Jaemin and tries to smother his face with the closest pillow he can find as payback. 

Texting Jeno quickly becomes part of Renjun's daily routine just like his walks. The good morning and goodnight texts are probably his favourite, but then again he could argue that any time spent talking to Jeno and learning more about the other is his favourite.

It doesn't take him long to learn that Jeno is just a month younger than him and recently finished his veterinary nursing program. He's looking for a job, but apparently it's a lot harder than it looks—which Renjun totally understands, it took him a couple months out of university to finally land this job. Jeno loves the colour blue and in turn, the ocean. He rather spend time at home than going out late, but goes out with his friends because he loves them and would do anything for them and promises to invite Renjun along next time they go out.

All in all, Renjun is thoroughly charmed.

Now his days at work are spent brainstorming activities for Tuesdays and waiting for the buzz of his phone signalling that Jeno replied. It's a little pathetic he must admit, but it's been awhile since he's had such a genuine crush on someone and he wasn't about to pass up his chance to have a little excitement in his life.

Renjun loves his job—his coworkers at the library have been nothing but welcoming and the kids are really what make it worth it—but for the first time, Renjun starts looking forward to Tuesdays for a different reason.

Out of all the crafts that he's done, Renjun is most proud of the idea he's come up with for New Years. The plan is to use old toilet paper rolls (that there are thankfully a surplus of in the supply closet from the previous program coordinator that Renjun dare not question) to make fireworks by cutting up the ends and dipping them in various colours of paint. It's something easy enough that most kids will be able to do with little direction, giving them a sense of accomplishment, which is something Renjun is always after. 

He's just about to start explaining the craft when Jisung runs into the room, flinging his mittens on the floor and looking at Renjun apologetically. Before he can say anything Renjun just smiles and pulls out the closest empty chair at the table for the boy to come and join them. Jisung chirps out a small thank you as he takes a seat.

Too focused on delivering the instructions Renjun doesn't realize that Jeno has been standing just inside the doorway the entire time until the other clears his throat, scaring the shit out of Renjun.

"Do you come here often?" Jeno asks, a lazy smile on his face. Something warm twists in Renjun’s gut. 

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Renjun simply shakes his head no and asks, "Do you?"

He catches a tiny twitch in Jeno’s smile as he takes the bait.

"I’ve been coming around more often since I saw this really cute guy working."

"Oh?" Renjun quirks his eyebrow before turning so he's able to observe everyone working on the craft again in case any of them try to catch his attention. Despite his urge to say fuck it and forget about anything else when Jeno is around, Renjun knows he has to be professional. Hell, Seulgi is just in the other room.

To that, Jeno just laughs. "Yeah, thought I might get the chance to know him better if I kept coming around."

"And how's that going for you? Ah, one sec-" Renjun cuts off, making his way to where Chenle is struggling to get the purple paint out of its container. It's a disaster waiting to happen; one that Renjun wants to stop. Once he's sure that Chenle has enough purple paint, Renjun stands to make his way back over to Jeno only to find that Jeno's has made his way into the room and to the head of the table. 

"You tell me." His smile reaches up to his eyes and Renjun's heart melts that much more. "Do you need any help?"

Renjun shakes his head. "Do you want to try too? If you're planning on staying that is. Jisung could probably show you how it's done."

"Not you, teacher Junnie?" Jeno pouts just like one of the kids would and Renjun has to stop himself from punching Jeno's shoulder from the ridiculousness of it all. Never has he met someone so handsome and troublesome.

"I think you'll find that your brother is the better teacher out of the two of us."

> **jeno** : 
> 
> hey i meant to ask earlier but would you want to come see fireworks with my family on new years?
> 
> (jisung would like it if you did)
> 
> (if you don't already have other plans with friends or family of course!!!)
> 
> **renjun** :
> 
> just jisung?
> 
> **jeno** : 
> 
> not just jisung >:(
> 
> **renjun** : 
> 
> in that case yes
> 
> i'd love to jeno
> 
> **jeno** : 
> 
> great!! i can come pick you up around 11pm?
> 
> **renjun** : 
> 
> sure! i’ll text you my address later
> 
> **jeno** : 
> 
> awesome
> 
> i can't wait!
> 
> neither can jisung
> 
> **renjun** : 
> 
> neither can i

"Are you sure this is cute enough?"

"Is he even gonna see it? Like you're gonna be wearing a jacket anyways." Mark's voice filters into Renjun's earphones, slightly quieter than if he was actually there in person.

"You're useless to me Mark. Useless!"

Renjun glances over himself in the mirror once more, appreciating the effort he put into picking out the outfit. He wore a pair of black jeans (with holes because fuck getting cold, there were boys to impress), with a cream turtleneck tucked into them (because he wasn't entirely keen about freezing his ass off), and his usual watch and earring studs. Admittedly, he hadn't bothered half as much with his hair as he might otherwise, since he was planning on just sticking a hat on it the moment he stepped out of the door anyways.

"It's the thought that counts. I wanna dress up for him even if we'll be with his family the entire time and I'll have a jacket over it. I'll send him an outfit pic later or something," he explained, justifying his actions more to himself than Mark.

"It looks great, Jun. Jeno's really gonna love it."

"I hope so."

And there it was, the tiny twinge of anxiety; the seed of doubt that followed Renjun around no matter how hard he worked to ignore it. He really wanted things with Jeno to work out, but of course there was no way of knowing or guaranteeing what would end up happening, days, weeks, years in the future.

"He will. From what you've said, he seems very smitten with you."

"Yeah, but that's just the thing, I don't know if he does this to every cute boy he comes across or if I'm special."

"Well, there's really no way of knowing that until you guys spend more time together and really get to know each other so in that case I think this can't hurt. You deserve to enjoy yourself tonight, Jun. Don't worry too much about it, okay?"

Renjun let Mark's words sink in and instead of worrying himself sick, he pushes the negative thoughts to the back of his head again.

"Okay," he breathes out.

"Now go get your mans.”

"Please never speak to me again." Renjun hangs up before Mark can get in another word.

By the time they get to the park where the fireworks are supposed to be, Jisung is bouncing out of his seat, eager to get outside. Much of the twenty minute drive was filled with Jisung telling Renjun as many facts about fireworks as possible, which included that they were invented by the Chinese “before I was born" and that the different sounds they make are because of the different chemicals ("ingredients") mixed in.

It takes them another five minutes (and this time some fun facts from Jeno, because "how do you think Jisung got so smart") before they make it to the top of the hill.

"The view is supposed to be the best from up here," Jisung boasts happily, hanging onto his mother’s hand.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, we can see the whole sky."

Jisung is absolutely right, Renjun notes. They were far enough out of town that the light pollution barely affected their view and Renjun could see hundreds of tiny stars dotted across the sky. The moon was just visible, the tiny sliver of it visible doing the best to light up the night sky as it could. Renjun is too busy stargazing to realize that Jeno has been quietly calling his name in an attempt to get his attention. It isn’t until Jeno pulls on his arm that Renjun comes back down to earth. 

"Apparently the view is even better over here." Jeno tilts his head a bit to the side for clarification.

Renjun bites at his bottom lip, the skin dry from such cold weather. "Is that so?"

"Mhm." Jeno peaks his head around Renjun so he can speak to Jisung, "Stay with Mama, okay?"

Once Jisung nods in response Renjun lets Jeno guide him by his arm to the apparent “better” spot. They only have to walk for another minute or two to find a mostly secluded area under two trees.

"Better?"

Jeno nods, uncharacteristically quiet, but Renjun finds he doesn't mind. It's cute, seeing Jeno just as nervous as him. It helps calm Renjun's nerves a little bit knowing that he’s not the only one out of his element.

Renjun's certain Jeno is about to say something, but a loud bang goes off when he opens his mouth and Renjun watches Jeno's face light up in blue and red. There's bright fireworks reflected in Jeno’s eyes and Renjun thinks he could deal with spending the entire night just watching the fireworks show like this.

But then Jeno is pointing over his shoulder as more fireworks go off and Renjun turns to watch them, the sky lighting up red and gold and green and _brilliant_.

He's not even sure when it happens, but Renjun finds himself leaning up against Jeno as they watch. Both of them only speaking up when they take turns pointing out their favorite fireworks. At one point Renjun takes out his phone to video a small section of them and snaps a quick selfie with Jeno before he can stop himself. He might be biased, but he thinks it might be the best photo he’s taken.

"What time is it?" Jeno asks just before Renjun's phone disappears back in his pocket. "I think they're almost over, it has to be near midnight."

Sure enough, the clock blinks back 11:58 at them.

"Thank you for inviting me. I've had a really nice time," Renjun says or maybe whispers, he can’t really tell at this point. The fireworks have done their job in dulling out every other noise. 

"I'm glad. Jisung was really glad you could make it."

"Just Jisung?" Renjun asks, but before he can get a reply they can hear the crowd start to count down.

Without thinking, both boys join in and Renjun's heart swells with the overwhelming feeling of belonging and being part of something bigger. Laughter bubbles out of his throat. They're yelling by the time they get down to five, four, three, two—

Caught off guard, Renjun freezes when he feels a pair of lips pressed to his cheek, but he doesn't have nearly enough time to think about it because they're gone faster than he can fully register. 

Flushed, he looks over at Jeno who's wearing a matching shocked expression; like he can't quite believe that just happened either. Renjun seeks out Jeno's hand and squeezes it, hoping his message is clear. It seems so, because Renjun watches Jeno’s expression soften until he's looking at Renjun with far too much fondness.

"Not just Jisung, by the way," he answers, squeezing back.

Just like texting became a habit, Jeno joining Renjun for his daily walks became a habit and something else for Renjun to look forward to.

Thanks to New Years, they discovered Jeno only lives a block away, so all Renjun had to do was tweak his normal route a little bit so now it includes picking up Jeno. It's great getting to spend so much time alone with Jeno—no kids or coworkers or friends around. Renjun cherishes the time they have to spend with each other and more often than not the walks turn into a couple hours long because both parties are too hesitant to say goodbye.

It's gotten to the point where the little old lady who lives on the corner of Renjun's street expects them and will wave to the two of them every time they lap by her house.

"So, what's the plan pretty boy?" Jeno asks once they’ve been walking for a couple minutes. 

No matter how many times he uses them, Renjun isn’t sure he’ll ever be used to the pet names falling from Jeno’s voice, always dripping with sweetness. 

"The plan?” Renjun frowns. “For the same walk that we've been going on every day for what...weeks now?"

"Yeah, how's today different? Anything exciting?"

Renjun contemplates for a moment, thinking about how he's supposed to respond to Jeno. Apparently he takes too long though because the taller speaks up again.

"Like for me it's the first day that I've really adjusted to my new meds, so everything feels a lot clearer."

The confession catches Renjun off guard, but he makes sure not to show any stagger in his step, since he wasn't sure if Jeno wanted to make a big deal out of it. This was the first time Renjun was hearing of it at least. Maybe they would have a chance to talk more about it later.

"I'm glad," he offers truthfully. "I'm not sure if there's anything special about today for me."

"You can get back to me about it," Jeno says as they turn the corner. 

"Junnie, guess what?" Jisung pipes up. 

It’s another Tuesday and they’ve just wrapped up playing around with Lego. It's been awhile since Renjun has seen Jisung since he’s missed the last two weeks—one for being sick and one because Jeno said they went to visit their grandparents who live out of town.

"Hmm." Renjun pretends to spend a couple seconds thinking deeply. "You just got back from outer space didn't you?"

"No!" Jisung giggles. He passes Renjun a box of Lego while they both wait for Jeno, another habit in both of their lives now. "Me and Chenle are just like you and my brother now."

The declaration catches Renjun off guard a bit because he has no idea where Jisung could be going with this, but he still manages to ask, "Oh are you now?"

"Yeah.” Jisung nods. “We're in love."

This time it's the certainty that Jisung says it with that catches Renjun unprepared. He thinks he finally understands why people say children are more sensitive to spirits and such. They’re far too perceptive and simply accept things as they see them without letting feelings or anything shift their view. It's sweet that Jisung is so sure of his feelings for Chenle—something that Renjun had been able to witness weekly—but Renjun is shocked that apparently his feelings for Jeno are that easy to see. Renjun wonders if it's that obvious for everyone else or just unbiased children.

He wonders if Jeno has caught on.

"Ah- I–I'm very happy to hear that Jisung. Chenle is a very nice boy."

Jisung positively beams at that. "I know, that's why I love him.”

"Hey Jisung. Do you think you could keep a secret for me? It's top secret, something only you know and you’ll have to protect it." Renjun makes sure to sound as important and mysterious as he can as he leans in to ask the younger boy. He’s hoping Jisung will accept the mission. 

"Of course."

"Can you keep it a secret that Jeno and I are...in love for a little bit?" Renjun whispers. It sounds weird to say the words out loud, since Renjun has only allowed himself to fully accept his feelings for Jeno recently and love, well that was maybe a bit too strong just yet.

Thankfully, Jisung nods his head until Renjun is sure the boy is going to get whiplash, but he just takes it as a sincere answer from Jisung. Air rushes out of Renjun’s lungs. He wasn’t sure how long he had been holding his breath for. 

If he's being honest, Renjun can't stop thinking about Jisung's words. _Does Jeno love him?_ Love is probably too strong of a word, unless you are a fearless five-year-old, but is there a chance that Jeno likes him back?

Renjun's palms are sweaty from where they're balled up in his hoodie pocket. Spring had finally decided to wake up, so it was warm enough out that winter jackets could be packed away and the streets were filled with streams of melting now. It’s Renjun’s favourite season; the flowers and warm air and overall sense of new beginnings is intoxicating. 

Which is exactly why Renjun has decided he’s going to confess today. 

If it were up to Mark, it would have happened a long time ago, but Renjun had to work hard to piece together the courage in the face of rejection. Except, he’s pretty sure Jeno likes him back, which makes things a little less terrifying. Only a little though. 

So he picks up Jeno like usual and tries his best to pretend that his heart isn’t in his throat and that by the end of the walk things will still be okay between them. 

Scared he would back out of it, Renjun didn’t tell anyone what he was up to. Which on one hand, was nice since he didn’t have to put up with any teasing, but some reassurance right now would have been nice. Instead, Renjun takes a couple deep breaths to calm himself. 

It’s become a usual question, something like a checkpoint during the time they spend on their walks together, so Renjun makes sure he’s the first to ask: "How’s today different?"

"You know that job I had an interview with on Friday? Well they got back to me and want me to come in for another interview since apparently it was really close between me and this other candidate. So I guess I'm feeling very hopeful today. Nervous, but hopeful."

"Oh, Jeno, I’m so happy for you. That’s really great.” Out of the corner of his eye he can see Jeno break out into a grin. Renjun’s chest tightens. “If anyone deserves that job it's you. In fact, they better hire you or _else_."

"Thanks. I feel more confident knowing someone like you believes in me." 

Yet again, Jeno manages to catch Renjun off guard with his honesty. It’s like he doesn’t even think about the consequences of his words. Renjun's heart speeds up in his chest to the point that Renjun fears Jeno will be able to see steam coming out of his ears.

"How about you? Is today any different for you?" Jeno asks, jostling Renjun with his shoulder. When they settle, he doesn’t move back to his own space. Rather they walk shoulder to shoulder, shadows melting into one on the concrete. 

"I think so."

"Oh?"

Renjun takes another shaky breath. 

"There's something I've been thinking about for awhile now and I think it’s about time I did something about it."

Jeno is silent, waiting for Renjun to offer more explanation to his vague statement. It's very appreciated since Renjun is fairly sure if Jeno opens his mouth right now he'll lose his nerve and turn into a forward once more.

"I really like you, Lee Jeno," Renjun declares, coming to a stop. A bewildered look comes across Jeno’s face as Renjun watches him stop and turn, but it’s gone as fast as it appeared, this time replaced by a curious smile. Jeno takes a step forward so they’re practically nose to nose—they belong to their own little word on the side of the road, cars and other pedestrians be damned. 

"Like romantically," Renjun adds for clarification, making Jeno throw his head back with laughter. When he leans back, he presses his forehead to Renjun’s. The older sucks in a breath. 

"I really like you too, Renjun. Romantically that is.” Even though he can barely see Jeno’s mouth from this angle, Renjun is almost certain he’s grinning ear to ear. “I have for a while honestly. I thought the flirting and pet names might have given it away. Also a little birdie might have let something slip."

For a split second Renjun debates if he could morally fight a five-year-old before the more rational side of his brain reboots. 

"Why didn't you say anything then?"

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable I guess? I could never quite figure out if you returned my feelings or not."

"I guess I couldn't really decide either. I wasn't sure if the flirting was actually for me or just part of who you are," Renjun admits because well, if they’re really going to do this, Jeno deserves to know. "What did, uh, what did Jisung tell you?"

"That we're in love." They way Jeno says it makes it sound like a fact; water is wet, the sun rises in the east, Jeno and Renjun are in love. Renjun wonders if it's possible for Jeno to see how red his face is from this close. 

"I think it's a little fast to call it love, but I think you have real potential."

"Wow darling, you really sound like a teacher."

"Oh, shut up," Renjun sputters but he’s happy, oh so happy.

"Make me."

Wasting no time, Renjun wraps his arms up around Jeno’s neck and pulls the tall boy closer so their chests are flush and Renjun can feel every uneven inhale from Jeno spread throughout his own body. 

"Gladly,” he whispers and leans in to capture Jeno’s lips. They’re warm and Jeno hums pleasantly when Renjun all but melts against him effectively giving up on having enough air. 

The kiss sends small fireworks through Renjun’s nerves until he can see them behind his closed eyes; real ones will never be able to compare. 

**Author's Note:**

> happy new years!! may this year be much kinder to us all <3 wishing ya'll all the best <3
> 
> like comment subscribe and all that (for real tho any feedback warms my heart and is very appreciated)
> 
> visit me on [twt](https://twitter.com/honeyhaech)!


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